My REAL Journey

In previous blogs to blogged about my weight loss journey but here is a new one.  It is weight loss I guess as I had a lot of weight lifted off of my soul.

I grew up "going" to church.  I guess I went to socialize or just to show up.  I come from a pretty religious family and I never took it serious.  I want my kids and wife to go to church but I rarely went or when I did go I seemed distracted or bored.  I lost my way.  Hence many years later.  I have not divulged much of this to anyone yet so here it is.

Last week was my lowest point.  I was struggling and an emotional mess.  I had pushed my family away and hurt the person I love more than anything in the world.  I felt lonely and vulnerable.  I only slept 5 hours in 4 days.  I was running on empty.  I was supposed to go home and sleep on Saturday night and found myself sleeping for just an hour and something woke me up and lead me to the local watering hole.  I sat there for about an hour texting a couple friends who were trying to help me but I was too selfish to ask for it.  Just as I was about to have another, this lady came in and sat next to me ordered a beer, took a sip, had a disgusting look on her face and put it down and walked out the door.  I knew then I had to get up, go home and surrender myself to Jesus Christ the next day.  I want to thank the angel who visited me on Saturday night. 

Today is Sunday.  I woke up with a mission to get my life back on track and win back the people I hurt most.  I dressed myself and the kids and we went to Church.  I had a sickening feeling all morning in my stomach.  It was my demons trying to not get me to go.  I really wanted to vomit before church and during the first half of assembly.  I was sick.  I was more vocal and attentive during service and it felt really good but the pains in me were hurting even more.   I felt as if the sermon was speaking to me.  Jesus came to him, kept ringing in my ears.  Brother Dennis who I admire more now ask for people to come forward and I stepped forward, surrendering myself.  I prayed with Brother Dennis and Associate Pastor and my pain was gone.  I felt as if a ton of weight was lifted from me.  I feel the best that I HAVE ever felt.  I see things differently.  Again I want to thank the Angel who visited me on Saturday night.  I see my kids differently and most importantly I see Cheerful differently. 

About 6 years ago, I was mowing and my wedding band broke in half.  I had so much disrepect for those I love that I NEVER got a new one.  Tomorrow I am GETTING a new one.  I AM married and I need to have that respect for my wife. 

It is still going to be an uphill battle for me everyday but I am ready for the challenge.  I have never backed down nor quit.  I still have lots to learn and I look forward to learning.  As a new career unfolds this will help me find peace.  This will help me be the Christian Leader of this Family.  Please keep me in your prayers as I go through this new and important journey.  Good night!